the-adequate-gatsby:

It’s 3 am

You hear a noise in your kitchen

You go to investigate

It’s me sitting at your table

I ask you to sit down

“I want to know why you though that comment on my post was necessary.” 

phriend:

Before Tumblr i thought blogging was something 30 year old single mothers did. Discussing recipes and parenting techniques

twiistz:

i met a girl with 12 nipples
sounds funny
dozen tit

nickmoorexvx:

Yesterday a guy came up to me at work was like “How are you ever going to get a job with all those piercings?”

I’ll say that again. 

A guy came up to me

at work

and asked “How are you ever going to get a job with all those piercings?”

 

summvr:

when i was little i remember my mom taught me a trick to hold my longsleeve shirt when i was putting on a jacket so they dont bunch up and god bless her soul for doing so